wake-up "calling"

i was woken up this morning by a knock at the door...

"ugh"
sleepy-eyed
with a sore-throat
out til 5 am the night prior

"must be con edison" ran through my head
"or the super coming back to check on repairs he'd made yesterday"
"maybe it's even a package that they need me to sign!"

at any rate
i wasn't nearly lucid enough
to give it much thought
as i stumbled from my bed towards the knocking
pulling on a t-shirt as i moved

when i finally threw open the door
i was more than a little shocked to find
two mormon missionaries
standing right before me

"oh god"
i said, without thinking
standing in an oversized t-shirt and purple-striped boxers

"good afternoon. we're here from the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints to see if you've got a minute to talk about the power of jesus christ?"

i stood
breathing in
then shook my head
waiting for the words to come

for some reason as a gut-reaction
i lowered my face to the ground
suddenly, inexplicably fixated on the floor
and said the only thing that came to mind...

"oh, you don't want to talk to me.."

it was all i could come up with.

the dark haired (speaking member) then replied
"of course we do.. why wouldn't we want to talk to you?"

i looked at my feet, i could feel my cheeks burn
and answered
"the list is too long"

the thing is
it's amazing how people can alter your reality completely
in the absolute blink of an eye

it's crazy how their mere presence can
suddenly make a self-assured person feel utterly ashamed

unnatural, dirty, wrong

i don't feel ashamed
i don't feel unnatural
i don't feel dirty
i don't feel wrong

i just now feel the need to repeat that to myself
over and over again

they didn't mean any harm, these two young men
they didn't come here to judge me, necessarily
obviously they believe that this is their "calling"

but here they were
white shirts, "elder this-and-that" name tags, black backpacks
giving me full mormon costume
like they'd stayed out too late the morning after halloween

the one who did the talking seemed simple, kind, pure even

and here i was
after another long night
of drink, smoke etc.
feeling dried out, weary
and more than a little turned on by the sight of them

thinking to myself, if only for an instant
that maybe my life is wrong?

that maybe there is a better way?

but then i stopped
took an assessment of the situation
and reminded myself that i fundamentally don't believe
in forcing your religion on anybody else

if your relationship with a higher power is so strong
then why do you need other people involved to enjoy that?

it's a special, deeply profound relationship with a god, by any name
experienced only in the landscape of your own head and heart
it's certainly not a mass exodus
or an orgy

i also took a moment to affirm
that i'm still a good person
that i am more than just the previous night's debauchery
that there's beauty and calm and connectedness to the universe
within me as well

the only real difference between me and these two gentlemen
are the labels we put on "god"

that, and the fact i'm not currently standing beside another man
dressed for the afternoon ahead
with a pamphlet in my hand

"STRANGE ATTRACTOR" at Fringe NYC

I couldn't be any prouder than I am about "STRANGE ATTRACTOR," the show I'm Company Managing for the 12th Annual New York International Fringe Festival.

It's a fantastic "Theatrical Showcase of Magic and Mystery- Willy Wonka meets Hitchcock!" And is an amazing experience designed especially for the child in all of us.

It's been running at Spiegelworld in the South Street Seaport for the past two weeks and there's only one show left (this Saturday August, 23 at 7:30 pm) so come on by if you get the chance!

"Partake in mind-reading, teleporting and other interactive feats with Marco, a Magic Man out to save the world...and the world beyond!" You'll be truly Blown Away!

Visit www.fringenyc.org or marcofrezza.com for more information.

And click to see reviews of our show HERE, HERE and HERE!

a day on the set of "ugly betty"

a day on the set of "ugly betty"
which is now, i'm happy to say, filmed in new york

i've never really watched the show
but it was fun to be a part of
fun and looong

fifteen hours
standing around
talking with everybody
acting shocked when a 400 lb. ice sculpture got pushed over
take after take, time after time

these actors work hard
well, if not exactly hard, then at least looong

it'll be a great episode
i'm one of a group of the "new york elite"
at a magazine launch party

drama ensues, believe me
in a very camp, telemundo way...

another of life's odd experiences
existing in an almost real word

it'll have to be looked at again someday
through dumbledore's pensieve perhaps

or, at the very least, through the "magic" of television

Kanye West: Glow In The Dark Tour

as if his performance weren't inherently enough
as if his artistry hadn't already blown all our minds

at the very end of the evening
following his final encore
out of nowhere
we get this...

bravery, truth-teller
"artist he"
the final frontier
all bow down to Kanye West.

"Open your fucking minds. Open your minds. Be accepting of different people and let people be who they are. You know how many people came to me calling me gay cause I wear my jeans the fresh way? Or because I said hey, dude, how you gonna say 'fag' right in front of a gay dude's face and act like that's ok. That shit is disrespectful. Coming from Chicago, where if you saw somebody that was gay you were supppoed to stay ten feet away. It should be time to break out of the intuitions that I was sayin', the steretypes, or the fear, the backlash that I would get if you don't believe in what I believe in, acceptin' people for who they are…they're very talented and if they do something special in the world and they're discriminated. I've flown across the world y'all, and I've come back here to tell you — open your minds and live a happier life…"

-Kanye West, as told to the audience at his Madison Square Garden performance August 5, 2008