through the looking-glass

All else falls away
when pain
worry
a REAL HEALTH concern arises

The world keeps spinning
outside your universe
elsewhere
As you sit huddled
scared, unsure of what the future holds

An ulceration
on the cornea of my left eye
the result of a dried up contact slicing me in my sleep

Possible/ Likely - Bacteria/ Infection
Best Case Scenario: I stop wearing contacts for 4-6 weeks
Worst Case: I go blind
or lose my eye

The pain has subsided
That sawdust in the eyeball
excruciatingly constant feeling
gratefully gone.

But my vision-
has not returned

Blurry, like looking through a smoke filled room
or past a pane of frosted glass

I'm nervous
about never seeing the world clearly again
about glass eyes and patches
about losing my fucking eyeball

Soon I'll be off to see the specialists at Mount Sinai
for my third day in a row

But no matter what the outcome
there's certainty
that I'll never see the world around me
in quite the same way
again.