with gratitude...

this thanksgiving
we put our beloved family dog meg
to sleep

she had been very, very ill
for some time
blind and mostly deaf for even longer

and finally at the point where
she could no longer eat

it was both heartbreaking and somehow easy
taking those final days with her
but knowing that it really, really was her time

thanksgiving morning
as i shaved and showered
my mom and brother headed to the lake house
and my little sister got herself ready for the day

my dad
drove our 13 year old meg to the next town over
to the only open animal hospital nearby
and handled what needed to be done

before he left
we each had our goodbyes with meg
whispers, kisses, hands on fur
but he was the one to drive her
carry her into the hospital
and be with her in the end

my father stepped in to save us from that pain.

that entire afternoon i was so moved
by the sheer reality of life, family and the inevitability of loss

i was moved because
for the first time in a long time
i was reminded that this man is the leader of our pack
that when horrible situations arise
he is first in line to fix them

and i was suddenly safe with this awareness
we each were
safe in his protection

a few hours later
as my sister, dad and i headed to the lake ourselves
to join the rest of our family and our friends

he told us everything

how the doctor had said this was especially difficult
because she had an english springer spaniel just like ours

how she had told him that meg was truly very sick
and that we had made the humane choice

how my father had cried, somehow
saying goodbye to her like that

all alone
with his dog there one moment
and then calmly, peacefully gone the next

then, shouldering the burden
for everyone else

without praise or fanfare
he headed home
to us