9.22.2008

one year ago today
matt died

as memories turn to sepia hues

sounds and smells
register with less clarity
and life, for all of us, unsparingly moves on

it's a constant, those memories

as i remind myself
that love like that is always a blessing
even when it's masked as a curse

i remain, forever
steadfastly sad for matt
more so than for his family, his friends or for myself

sad for matt
because of all that he's missing here on earth
all that he'd wanted to be part of
all that he'd desired to see

there was a question and answer
i read online one day

the question was:
"what holds people back from greatness?"

and the answer appeared immediately:
"how they define it"

greatness.

it is everywhere
in the most mundane of moments
in the small joys of a hard day's work
in a smile or gesture, the benign desire to change the world

and in a life cut dramatically short

greatness... nearly twenty four years of it.

fuerza bruta

artistry, magic
music beyond comprehension

fuerza bruta
translation: brute force
playing now in new york's union square

see this miraculous theatre piece
part cirque du soleil
part dance party
all wonder and witchcraft

the sight of my friend lindsey's face
usually so reserved and pinched
glowing, beaming, filled with light
muscled i didn't even know she had stretched in glee

as we danced about, arm in arm
to tribal beats straight out of the forest of arden
all the while
being sprayed with cool/warm waters

like smelling salts
bringing us back to life

there is so much beauty in this world
it is sometimes hard to hold it in your heart

otherwise (politically) engaged.

i believe this to be
the absolute, hands-down most exciting time to be alive
and politically engaged in america
in modern history

"change" has become a somewhat damaged catch-phrase
tossed about like that drunk girl who stumbled into the frat party
but honestly, how often do we get an opportunity like this?

a guaranteed fundamental shift
in the future of this nation

our first black president
our first female vice president

we can count on getting one of these two come november

but it's about more than just one dimensional labels and campaign slogans
it's about the potential for a true and realistic turning of the tides
after the seemingly insurmountable damage
caused by the bush/cheney administration

i've been amazed (albeit terrified AND amazed) by sarah palin
over these past few weeks
she truly comes across as a fighter
a woman strong in her own convictions
somebody probably perfect for running her home state of alaska

but when i think of
a first term governor
a self-proclaimed "hockey mom"
a staunch believer in pro-life polictics
an advocate for "creationism" and the nra
a politician unfamiliar with the bush doctrine
a potential leader of the free world with no foreign policy experience
a woman who doesn't seem particularly concerned about global warming
and just a heartbeat away from LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD?!

it all seems so cynical and sick
that the republicans could have even picked her in the first place
especially since mccain's strongest argument against obama was "experience"

so then, on the other hand
we have barack obama

i won't romanticize him or wax on poetically
frankly, i was a hillary supporter from day one
and at the very least, feel she should have been chosen v.p.

but if you've paid even the tiniest amount of attention
you'll have seen that barack obama has proven himself to be
as intelligent, compassionate and prepared a potential president
as this country could have ever hoped for

he truly is the dream
the hope that this nation was founded upon

plus, when you take a look at the economy alone
alongside john mccain's voting records as they parallel to george w. bush's failed policies
you have to ask yourself, how COULDN'T the majority of americans be voting for REAL change?

and if, like me, you've been glued to this whole process every step of the way
watching debate after debate
be it between the pundits on cnn, the ladies of "the view," or even (on occasion!) the candidates themselves
then you'll be hard-pressed to not ALSO tune into
"real time with bill maher"
airing on hbo

this man is beyond the beyond
hilarious, fair, whip-smart and a hoot to watch

here's just a little snipet of his "New Rules"
from an episode that aired on september 12th, 2008

enjoy.


"All right. Finally, New Rule: Just because you live in the middle of nowhere doesn't make you more authentic than me. It just means you have a much longer drive to the airport.

Now, ever since Sarah Palin came along, this election has been falsely framed as a contest between salt-of-the-earth, small-time maverick westerners and snooty eastern elites. You know, there's people who go to church on Sunday, and there's people who go to brunch.

Even fast-talking, cross-dressing Rudy Giuliani - the former mayor of New York City - accused Obama of being too cosmopolitan. That's like being called a douche-bag by Andy Dick.

And...and listen to Mitt Romney from the same convention. He said, "If America really wants change, it's time to look for the sun in the west, because it's about to rise and shine from Arizona and Alaska. Of course, if the sun actually did rise in the west, that would mean the earth is spinning backwards and we'd all fly into space. But, then Mormons were never big on science. As you well know.

But, what Mitt was getting at is that the East Coast is where all the liberals, with their bad ideas, come from. You know, bad ideas like the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. As opposed to the brilliant ideas that have come out of the west like frontier justice and wearing cowboy boots with a suit.

The ideas this nation was founded on came from the most cosmopolitan people of their day, the founding fathers, who believed in science, who looked to Europe for wisdom, and who had no use for ignorant hicks like Bush and Palin.

Truth is - the truth is, as America moved west and got farther away from its birthing in Boston and Philadelphia, it became less American, not more. We keep hearing about small-town values, you know, like shooting wolves from an airplane or forcing your daughter into a doomed, loveless marriage.

Cities are about diversity of thought. Small towns are about...well, crystal meth. And, last year, police found 42 meth labs in Sarah Palin's home county. Drug addiction is a terrible thing, but apparently it beats living in Wasilla sober.

There's so much meth in this town, I'm surprised the Palins didn't have a kid named "Tweaker."

So, now I know what they mean when they talk about the Alaska spirit. Ah, yes, Alaska, where the townsfolk are jittery and the hockey players screw right through the condoms."

postsecret.com

it's rather silly
for a small blog like mine
to promote a much larger one
like this

but postsecret.com
is one of the web's mini miracles

a community art project
where secrets are sent in and shared
ultimately illuminating the unity within us all

these are some of my favorites from over the years
melancholy, sincere, tender, hopeful

not exactly representations of my own life
but each one a secret of someone else's
that brought a moment of clarity, humor, awakening
(or just art) to mine