mission: implausible

there are people who go to the gym every single day.
i see them there.
they scare me.
gorgeous men and women. probably all relatively intelligent.
wasting their lives away behind the ellipticals or under the barbells.
"does that guy come in here every night?"
i asked matt, one of the crunch employees, earlier this evening.
"oh yeah, every day. Literally Every Day."
he replied.
"They become addicted. You will too."
"um."
i said back, with an all too eager smile on my face.
"no i won't."
i mean.
seriously, i just don't get it.
the gym is definitely growing on me.
most of me genuinely loves the feeling of going there.
accomplishing a task.
and heading home refreshed.
but every single day?
isn't there so much more to be experienced in life?
isn't there simply so much more that a person could be doing?
i think that this is what bothers me most about exercise.
not health conscious exercise.
but exercise with the goal of an extreme physical transformation.
you know.
sculpted abs.
enormous biceps.
perfect calves.
it all seems so temporary.
it's the reason that i don't cook.
ever.
if i'm going to spend an hour creating something.
i want it to last.
i want to be able to pull it out.
dust it off.
and show it to my grandkids.
i don't want you to just be able to shit it out four hours later.
that's temporary.
like those perfect abs.
they will not last.
and so these gym freaks work out every single night.
night after night.
knowing that their ideals of perfection must be constantly maintained.
sure an extra dessert won't kill those obliques.
and of course missing one day of weight training won't destroy your pecs.
but enough of it.
enough of life's little casual enjoyments.
will.
so when do you stop?
do you work out every day until the afternoon you finally keel over mid mile on the treadmill?
or do you eventually say.
this is my life.
not yours.
i want to live it healthily.
but FULLY as well.
i value what i was born with.
and i do not want to destroy it.
break it apart.
and build it back again six times larger in some areas.
and ten times smaller in others.
to be perfectly honest.
yes.
i want to be healthy.
and.
yes.
i want a perfect body too.
but i want it on my terms.
and those don't involve living in the sterile, halogen-lit sweat chambers of crunch fitness day in and day out.
it's true that part of me can't help but look ahead.
nervously.
in anticipation of the day that i don't aspire to greatness quite so strongly.
those 35 year old men look half their age.
what with all the time they've invested in themselves.
and they certainly make a mighty strong point.
but i suppose.
that you.
like them.
just have to do what feels right for yourself.
perhaps fitness, to some, truly is life.
the beginning, middle and end of it.
but if.
perhaps.
it isn't that way for you.
never, ever ask yourself.
am i still attractive?
can i still be healthy?
or do i still count?
because you are.
you can be.
and you do.
each and every one of us.
in each and every size.