Vintage III

Originally written in my journal
April 15, 2005

In recognition of my first official tax season and due to the fact that I saw the very money-centric musical "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" on Broadway tonight, I can't help but be reminded of my encounter a little over a week ago when I first paid my own taxes...

After putting off what was certain to be an arduous and terrifying encounter for months, and after completely missing my first appointment, I was no less than thrilled to meet Josie, the 300 lb. salt and pepper haired H&R Block employee who would be assisting me in filing my taxes as a host/server for the year 2005. It was clear from the moment we first met that Josie was just about the most fun and (unintentionally) amusing human I'd ever met.

We talked. She gave me the ins-and-outs of the tax game. And in her blunt "New Yawk" kind of way assured me that next year I'd be filing not as a Server but as an Actor.

Josie had the sort of self-assured certainty that forced me to sit up straight and consider believing in myself. She went on and on about the endless possibilities that lay ahead of me. And how each of them could be applied to saving money come next year's tax date.

"D'jou gotta' good build. D'ja hand-soome. All d'jou godda' doo is make Twenty fi' bucks doin' some-tin and d'jou file as an Act-uh. Write off ya' Hae-cuts, d'ja Moo-vie Tickets, d'ja Entuh-tane-munt magazines. D'jou gotta' nice build so d'jou can doo dat."

I loved Josie.

We seemed to gab for hours. I honestly couldn't get enough of her. "Ah we dun he-ah uh whut?" she'd ask after having spent the last half hour unnecessarily explaining the purpose of a W2. Before I'd immediately shoot back, "Ooooh, now wait a second Miss Josie Girl! What was that you were calling these pieces of paper here? Were they a One Thousand Ninety Nine? A Ten Nine then Nine? A One Zero Nine slash Nine? Oh Josie! I'm just sooooo confused!"

By the time I finally walked out of that H&R Block Outlet on East Houston and Avenue A, wishing every day could be tax day, I grinned big and from ear to ear alone on that street. Not because I knew I'd be getting almost $1000 back from the government but because I'd been given an even bigger gift that afternoon.

Josie had told me, in her own special way, that I could do it.



March 27, 2006

And she was right.
Despite acting being nowhere near my predominant source of income, due to a few specific gigs, this year I was in fact able to file as an actor. Thusly writing off everything from my "Moo-vie Tickets" to my "Hae-cuts."

And when I greeted Josie today with a great big "How are you!?" She deadpanned back (as only Josie can pull off) "PISSED." Before launching into a tirade on everything from her carpal tunnel and how she missed acupuncture this morning, to the recent discovery that somebody's been sneaking into her bank account to buy trinkets on eBay. "Can d'jou frickin' bee-leeve dat? I'm PISSED! I reely yam."

I'd missed Josie! Picking up with her was almost as if no time had ever passed at all! Today we even got into her love life! After clicking the "single" button on my tax form Josie asked me, "So when d'ju tink d'ju gonna get maa-ried?" And I replied back, always with that hint of nervousness, "Oh, I don't know Josie. When they make it legal for two men to get married I suppose." And right then and there she told me, "Yey-ah, I'm gay tu."

I smiled up at her as she clicked away, searching for any means possible to save me money. And grinning ecstatically I shot back, "I knew I liked you."

God love her. Josie got me a great refund again this year. Now all I've got to do is count the days until next year's tax season. Cause with a gal like her, it truly is the most wonderful time of the year.