what isn't said, what isn't seen

is this exploitative?

to write a personal web log detailing one year in your life
becomes tricky
once your everyday existence wraps itself so tightly
around another soul's

but then
it becomes even trickier
once that shared life begins to potentially unravel

i didn't write during those darkest of days
both out of commitment to our privacy
and a personal inability to make sense of it all

but now
as we steadfastly begin the process to repair
those vast and endless past-days stare at me, call at me, taunt me to profess

there's simply all those Missed Days
where i have to COME UP WITH SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT

i just don't know what
or how much
to say
when it comes to he and i

i went to work
we fought
i'd say it's over
and somehow we'd forgive

i'd go to work
we fought
he'd say there was nothing left in him
and somehow we'd forget

this is all that happened
this is all we did

but
if i write about it
the fighting
the screaming
the anger
the tears
then i'm selling our privacy to the faceless-outside-you

and if i say nothing
then somehow i'm dishonest
covering up our truth
hiding what happens in real life
making it look so easy
turning grown love to a lie

in spite of every faith-filled word i've put here
and after every truth i've told

the honest to goodness reality
is that i have nothing in my life i wish to hide

but it's not just my life any longer


i don't know what to do
he clearly matters so much more than a blog entry
a story
a pot-shot
or a jab

but the truth
the truth

in spite of everything
is still somehow all i know