that face

on my way to work this afternoon i passed a woman
whose face had been so mauled by plastic surgery
that she practically ceased to look human

face tight, but scarred and lumpy
lips full, but swollen and disfigured
eyes nearly pointing out of the sides of her head

messy, ravaged, misplaced cartilage
resting there like parasites
the whole whole knowing that she'd done this to herself

she looked awful
and sad

and i couldn't help but question why it seems so difficult these days
for people to grow older with a little bit of grace

but
while i can't imagine altering myself beyond recognition
the thing is that i do get it

recently i read a quote
from stunning british actor rupert everett, no less
that as a gay man in his late forties
he feels all but invisible to the world around him
going as far as to say
(and i paraphrase)
that if someone were to light him on fire in a gay bar
the boys beside him wouldn't notice any further than to light their cigarettes off the flame

and it's true

culture
gay or otherwise
thrives and relies on youth

actors have an expiration date
women have an expiration date
gays have an expiration date

not that it's an ending point for your importance in the world
for your ability to make a difference
a life change
or a new discovery

it's simply an ending point for being noticed
by others
in that way

and it's sad to see these faces
barely human
unrecognizable
nothing like the way they were before

the nose that was perhaps a touch too large
the face that had weathered some with age
their character
their integrity
their beautiful, beautiful imperfections
gone

i'm not there yet
so i shouldn't judge
but i just feel that
every wrinkle is earned

and if you hate the way you look on the outside
to the extent that you'd allow strangers to cut your face apart
then no matter what your age
consider looking inward first
just as a first step
and really invest in checking in with who THAT person is

because they probably don't want to look like an alien
or a person with cat eyes, inflated lips and half a nose

that person might just be grateful
being exactly the perfect face
in exactly the perfect way
that they were shaped to be