running to yourself, staying put

words, doubt, caution, anger, release
fill me
empty me
leave me without breath

"what can i do?"
"relax"

"how can i try?"
"relax"

"what do you need?"
"relax"

the body doesn't relax on its own
not when its been forced to
not when it needs more

two components are needed
two open pathways

the effort of more than one

every fiber of my being says run
RUN!
RUN!
RUN!
RUN!
RUN!
RUN!
RUN!

the sensible portion of my mind
the only thing holding me back
remains

and then
every morning like clockwork
the heart reawakens to a possibility of you
of us
and what we used to be


this is so hard


sparks don't reappear alone
often they're accompanied by fury
anger
disappointment
regret

they come with need
or expectation
beside the promise never granted

we are trapped
the two of us

within these walls of green and mauve
beneath these rules of life and love