color life

i tried to go a week without saying or feeling anything negative
i tried to go a week without once turning on my phone
but life sweeps in
it ravages what you thought you knew
and you react
protect
and shield
in the best ways you know how
crossroads can actually be wonderful
when you let it all in

i'm surviving
eating
exercising
going out
and making it all happen
against the odds

to take your life into your own hands
is a force of will
so do it now
and never question why

life can be beautiful
when you allow yourself to be and feel negative
when you refuse to turn off the phone
when you are willing to wait
and not willing to promise
what you know inside you can't

love it all
the music plays through the pain
and currently
i wake up at nine or ten or noon
and clean
it starts with putting away the dirty clothes
arranging the shoes inside the closet
picking up the dog shit from when i was out too late the night before
making the bed
dusting
cleaning the surfaces
and just being
with the mess and the order

because
one could not exist
without
the other