"it's a woman thing"

congratulations to katie couric
and meredith vieira
for that matter
for all the success they've experienced this past week
you women have worked harder than we'd know
to get where you are 'today'
and certainly deserve all the praise in the world
for your incredible, incredible accomplishments

now, as for mandisa
the recently booted american idol songstress
truth be told
i haven't watched the show in recent weeks
so, perhaps you've just fallen off your game
with one too many poor song choices
but
when i was watching you
ya rocked
so i'm pointing to your alleged recent support
for gay-to-straight conversion camps
as the root of your demise
cause we were all rooting for you from the beginning
before this mess
but now you know
that you just don't mess with us, bitch
because we can be your best friends
and your worst enemies
too

but as for my miss new york
of vh1's 'flavor of love' fame
girl, i've missed you something bad in times of late
REAL bad for that matter
and frankly the reunion special just wasn't enough
of miss new york
to get yours truly through the night
so the news that you and the flav himself
will be starring in yet another reality tv program
is the song that guides this young man's heart
cause, lady, you're the best
and when miss new york
is in the muthafuckin' house
then i am simply one happy, happy boy

alright
now, on to even bigger expectations
and in regards to madonna's
confession tour 2006
lord, how much do i wish i'd signed up for that fan club
so i could get my madison square garden tickets now
as opposed to monday morning at nine
when every other fag in the universe
is desperately trying to score his seats
i. can. not. wait. for. this. dang. tour.
my third madonna concert in a row
each one phenomenal in its own right
and each one mind-blowing beyond belief
june 28th and 29th bitches
new york city
the queen said it herself
she loves new york
and heaven help us
if we don't love her too

okay, so finally
in women's news
i highly, highly recommend
that you listen to pink's new song
'dear Mr. President'
because
she has just elevated herself
perhaps
to icon status
exhibiting
bravery beyond bravery
and
truth beyond truth
this girl rocks
and so
certainly
does that song

and that's all she wrote,
but never forget
girl power
forever
and
ever
amen.