a carbohydrate conundrum

have you ever seen a more delicious sight in your lives?
the color, texture, taste and smell
all perfectly aligned
certainly one of the most beautiful visions these eyes could see
like hostess sno ball cakes, the kellogg's pop tart
is equally transfixing
but cherry flavored
and actually enjoyable to eat

i rattled off my diet to taj, the trainer today
thinking that most of it was pretty good
brand name breakfast cereal
hummus and pita
boca burger on a wheat bagel
late night smoothies

"that's horrible"
he replied
"no processed foods"
he then bellowed at me
as I rolled down for lunge number four hundred and eleven
"no processed foods?"
i called back defiantly
unsure of what he meant
"and no carbs at nighttime either"
okay...
well, this i understood
"you mean like no carbs after, say, eight o'clock?"
"no. no carbohydrates after 3 pm. those are only to be eaten in the mornings."

you've got to be kidding me
not
fucking
happening

i pouted through a salad at lunch today
literally angry at it for not being drenched in caesar
god, these starlets have such discipline
i told myself
over and over
they really, really do

i've never had an unhealthy relationship with food before
but i've always enjoyed eating what i wanted
when i wanted it
and this whole diet-and-exercise thing
is hard work
like a job in and of itself
personal maintenance
takes time, will-power, energy, discipline
and
frankly
i don't' know if i can
stand behind something
that stands between me
and anything
pink, frosted, sprinkled and delicious