Opportunity (Missed)

I wanted to take a picture today
actually cursed myself for not having a camera
I was down in the line of a rare (albeit consistently amazing) underground Subway restaurant chain on my lunch break and was waiting for my six inch tuna on Italian Herbs and Cheese bread with lettuce, pickles and chipotle southwest sauce
always the same
each and every time
at every single Subway
I was standing there, and a thought I'd been having that very morning on the way to work solidified itself for me
I noticed that not one, not two, but all FIVE of the businessmen in line in front of me were all wearing different variations on the exact same pale blue oxford dress shirt
Now some of the shirts had a light plaid pattern
others were a shade or two darker
but all five of the men in front of me could essentially be wearing faded or possibly dated versions of the same strict Catholic boarding school uniform
and each was doing so voluntarily
I seriously wished I'd had my camera
Because the thought I'd been having on this morning
which was just like any other of late
on the way to a job that is not only easy and fun, but spent with a friend
was that I suddenly lived in a gray world
The world that I inhabit
at least for the Fall and Winter months of 2005
is blue and gray, sometimes black or navy
but never orange or green or paisley or pink
This life that I always dreamed of is happening
love
and
New York
and
potential
and
heartache
I sit down at least once every single day to attempt to create something
even if it only comes out as self-indulgent crap
I suddenly have an intense desire to start painting again
I will be a tiny but legitimate part in a major motion picture filming this Friday
but I was one of these men
and my world
my universe
at least at this time
is blue and gray, sometimes black or navy
but never orange or green or paisley or pink.