business/ trip

"over the bridges
and past jersey
to phil-a-delphia i go..."

an important business meeting
MY business for a change
well worth the day long excursion

but please
promise yourself that you won't book a trip
to the land of the cheesesteak
anytime soon

mishap after mishap
like a screwball comedy
only i wasn't laughing
a hidden chinatown bus line
a water spillage resulting in my now defunct camera
about a million screaming kids
and every single person
in every single language
speaking on their cell phones
VERY LOUDLY
for two straight hours

oh, the bus ride was a dream
let me tell you
and things didn't get much easier once i arrived

but a success
through and through
to think, the lengths an actor will go to
for that zero point zero zero chance
that something will go right
for a change

Hell, we all need SOMETHIN' to tell Oprah.

at home tonight
FINALLY
i rewarded myself

some choose liquor
others a joint
for me, just sushi
and a fresh "will and grace"
which actually made me cheer
at their darkness
and their warmth

you don't really get it
as a very young person
looking up to these single and "fabulous"
fictional characters
carrie bradshaw
ally mcbeal
will truman
grace adler
their lives seem so exciting
who needs love when you have a roommate and a bank account?

but it's hard
it's sad
it's lonely
and rarely is it ever funny

i applaud that show
haters be damned
it could take itself more seriously
in my nuanced opinion
it should have always let the emotional moments land
for at least a second or two longer
before a character launched back
into their next pratfall or prank
but there's not much out there that deserves the title of
"groundbreaking"
and this does.

i remember sitting in the living room
of my childhood home
pimply faced
nervous
scared
and "will and grace" came on the television
i somehow ended up watching it
with my parents in the room
well, watched them watch it was more like it
to see how they'd react

they laughed

and another small piece chipped away
my heart began to entertain the notion that,
you can consider not being afraid of the feelings you were born with
you can consider not hating yourself
you can consider laughing at the beauty inside of you
with the knowledge that you are not alone
in this sad, sad world
at all.