Support Group 101

"Hello, my name is Chris and I'm addicted to blogs..."
"It's a common addiction in today's heated and exciting virtual world. Frankly the temptation was just too great."

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"Well... this is so hard... Let's see, It started out with rosie.com. This particular ailment I'd been living with since childhood. And that, ahhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm sorry... That... soon developed into a DE-SI-RE to...begin......writing......GOD WHY!?......my own blog."

[Let the record show that the individual identifying himself simply as Chris has now begun to sob uncontrollably]

"O.K. this is getting easier now... So, what started with rosie.com, soon blossomed into my own site, cgc182.blogspot.com for anyone who's interested! NOT that you should be! And this site quickly evolved into a need to check up on the few friends of mine who also wrote their own blogs. Soon, however, the realization made itself clear that my friends and counterparts did not share my DE-SI-RE to write blog entries of their own each and every day. So I was forced, FORCED! AGAINST MY WILL! to look elsewhere."
"Sadly,I was pointed in the direction of a site called pinkisthenewblog and soon found myself checking its pages two and three times daily, soaking up all its wit and wisdom the way a wino soaks up...well, wine."
"Before long, pink led me to queerty.com which then led me to danrenzi.typepad.com who in turn led me to perezhilton.com whose own site then led me back to pink and so on and so forth."
"Sadly, in my particular case, blogs alone proved to be only a gateway drug to a much deeper, darker DE-SI-RE."
"My pack a day habit of blogging and so forth only gained me access into the destructive and time devouring world of myspace.com. Where I managed to waste away hours, LITERALLY HOURS, searching for so and so from High School, or such and such from Summer Camp. I became engrossed (key word being: gross) with searching for people I sometimes didn't even give a shit about. It was all just to satiate the inner voyeur inside of me. My habit got so ugly that at one point I actually began pushing loved ones away with thoughts like, Yes, we HAVE been best friends for seven years now. But she's FACEBOOK and I'm MYSPACE. It'll just never work..."
"Well, good people of Support Group 101, I'm here to tell you that tonight I'm kicking the habit! Now, I'm not saying that it'll be easy and I'm certainly not saying that it won't take time. But come heck or high water (and judging by today's environmental climate its much more likely to be high water) I WILL kick this habit some day! Hopefully even someday soon!"

[Let the record show that the crowd is now going wild with excitement! They are lifting Chris up into the air! They are chanting his name! They are making him King! But wait, he's stopping them. He's making them put him down. He's got something more to say! Shhh! Everyone listen to him!]

"Hey, while I have you all here...Anybody got a laptop handy?'