am i?

am i allowed to want a family?
am i allowed to need more than people are willing to give?
am i allowed to be afraid for no reason?
am i allowed to think that this will never be enough?
am i allowed to waste a portion of my life if i promise to really use the rest?
am i allowed to keep writing?
am i allowed to obsess?
am i allowed to hate a part of who i am?
am i allowed to know that someday it will all be o.k.?
am i allowed to tell myself that it will?
am i allowed to do nothing?
am i allowed to love my family unconditionally?
am i allowed to think i'm lucky?
am i allowed to think i'm not?
am i allowed to say that this is bullshit even if i think it isn't?
am i allowed to not give a fuck what any of you think?
am i allowed to be given the chance to do something with this life?
am i allowed to grab that opportunity away from someone else if necessary?
am i allowed to be grateful?
am i allowed to question?
am i allowed to believe in a god?
am i allowed to continue typing really, really fast?
am i allowed to edit?
am i allowed to not let myself?
am i allowed to read
and think
and be
something more
than i feel i should be allowed?
am i?

are you?