My God

Or perhaps "Aow ma gawsh!" would be more appropriate.
Now no one loves a good old fashioned tabloid more than I do, what with the fashions, the buzz on all the latest Hollywood gossip and the more-addictive-than-crack snapshots of celebrities walking the streets of New York and L.A.
but this is just too fucking much.
Yes, these two B listers whored out their marriage for a second shot at fame and for that, I'll admit, they do undoubtedly deserve all the shame and derision we as citizens can heap upon them.
But don't WE deserve better?
I mean Nick is a good looking guy and lord knows Jessica cleans up real well but Enough is Enough.
No more cover articles.
No more headlines.
No more press period, if we can even fathom a world without our precious former "Newlyweds" in it.


These people serve no purpose, together or apart.
They tell us nothing about our own personal lives.
They reflect no truth in regards to who we are as couples.
And they are fucking boring.
The saddest part is that I am sure that they were very nice people before all of this circus began a few years back and perhaps someday in the very distant future these two will (either separately or as a pair) manage to bring some small element of goodness, light or charity into the world.
But for now they need to just go away
far, far away
and save some room in the trunk for Ashlee.