mediocrity

they say you'll never get rich
working for your boss

and that you'll never hit it big
without taking big risks

the dictionary defines the word "mediocre" as
1. ordinariness as a consequence of being average and not outstanding
2. a person of second-rate ability or value

mediocrity
i've become obsessed with this concept lately

is a life
in and of itself
mediocre?

if no one works for you or beneath you
if you can't afford trips to europe on the spur of the moment
if there isn't a camera following your every move

do you matter?

reality television has blurred
every line imaginable

instant fame
like soup
or messenger

a whole machine working behind your image
well, at least a concept of your image
a teeny sliver of your true identity

marketing
p.r.
media
the blogosphere
all talking about "YOU!"

for that instant you are alive
for that instant you are incontrovertibly alive
in. this. universe.

you are made alive by the fact
that people know you exist

certain cultures fear cameras
because they're said to steal your soul

but in today's time
at least in american culture
there are all too many of us willing to sell those souls
hell, give 'em away
without the guarantee of money, power
or even the tiniest semblance of control

then, like a drug, it sucks you in

watch donald trump if you need an example:
is there any conceivable reason why that man feels inclined
to step before a camera time and time again?

season after season of "the apprentice"
appearances on everything from qvc to world wrestling entertainment

systematically dismantling what had once seemed
a relatively legitimate businessman
showcasing a somewhat enviable way of life

i'll tell you it's not the money
that keeps trump coming back for more

it's the need to be seen
by the hordes of faceless strangers
sitting out there in the dark

and he is not alone.

but where does this phenomenon come from?
i think at this point
it's both nature and nurture

the desire to be seen
to stand out
is as ingrained in us as the desire to be thin

but what it might just really boil down to
is that on some level the camera makes us immortal

whether reality television
the movie screen
or our invaluable facebook pages

when we're visible we're forever
our bodies might wither and die but our image is permanent

the more photos we take
the more impossible we become to destroy

the more people are aware of us
on any level (even if we're despised)
the more impossible we become to destroy

and if your picture is everywhere
and the people in your universe can pick you out of a crowd
then mediocrity itself becomes an impossibility

it's like high school all over again
stand out, be important
or perish

even if you feel far below mediocre
deep down inside

the image remains
on paper
online
in the heads of everyone else

who can never really know you at all
unless you know yourself.