all work and no play makes this a dull blog

work was fine
i'm not going into the politics and social drama
of a new york city restaurant
not here
not now
because after my very first official, no-longer-training shift

all TEN HOURS of it

i'm too exhausted to even pretend to be witty
so i'll just tell ya
if you're at a restaurant
no matter what happens
no matter what city you're in

TIP YOUR WAITER 20%
TIP YOUR WAITER 20%
TIP YOUR WAITER 20%

this time
the next time
EVERY TIME
there's absolutely no excuse not to
none whatsoever

but then again
you don't really need to worry
because ya don't have to go crazy with the 25% either
just because you liked Tina and she was So Sweet to little Tyler
Tina will be happy with her 20% thank you very much
but...
if you give her 15%
she will want to cut your head off

and if you're still fighting society on the 20% minimum
for some unknown reason
(probably because you're cheap)
then just keep in mind that generally 30% of every dollar you give your waiter at the end of a meal
IMMEDIATELY
goes to the bussers, the runners. the bartenders, the bar backs, the coffee station employees, the etc. etc. etc...
who only get paid the percentage that the servers fork over to them every night
30%
of your measly 20%
gone in the blink of an eye

now pay up people
i'm sorry to say it but that's just part of eating out
and it may not seem so to you
but your server is probably working a lot harder than you know

OH!
and p.s.
they don't get paid unless you cough it up
so, 20% server tip
every single time
can you promise us that?

it all but guarantees you'll get into heaven