flight back to start the next

early morning
flight day
so much inside
like floating
but not awake as well

i'm groggy
sleepy-eyed
on edge
and nervous too
an acidic sensation arises inside my chest and throat
but i combat its destruction
with deep inhalations
followed by even deeper exhales

the flight made me pretty nervous
having just seen 'united 93'
but i think i saved myself
just a little
by watching 'soul plane' on demand two nights back
there are in fact two sides to every story
remind yourself of both
realize that one's air experience is not inherently yours
(knock on wood)

learn
and then
laugh
one follows one follows one

i'm here now
and it's peaceful
just as it should be
matt graduates tomorrow
and i couldn't be prouder
of him and of all his accomplishments
all of the good that he's already done
in his just-starting-out-right-now-life

the realization comes
like clockwork
your eyes roll but i continue on
because
the realizations can't be stopped
they can only not be written about

this is life
this is my life
and it's finally starting to take the shape
that will inevitably be its shape
forever

a million others have made these trips
experienced these milestones
and felt exactly what i'm feeling now
this just happens to be when i'm
traveling, experiencing and feeling
them for myself
and you just happen to be reading about it
for whatever reason brings you here

it doesn't need to mean all that much to you
but it sure means plenty to me.