You don't write. You Journal.

What is it about the human mind that simply taps into one emotion or another? Out with friends new and old. A particularly rainy Saturday night. A cover band. One person wants to dance. The other wants to listen, not quite but almost sadly. Vastly preferring the sensation of nearly doubling over at a stinging rendition of Radiohead's "Creep" or The Beatles' "Blackbird." The decision between this awareness and that of flailing about to Aerosmith, Bob Marley or Lynrd Skynrd is a no-brainer for him. Not that he isn't enjoying the Aerosmith, Bob Marley (and to a lesser degree) the Lynrd Skynrd, from the comfort of his seat just inches from the stage. Enjoyment can come in many forms. Sometimes even pensive, thoughtfully emotive quasi-sadness brings its own measure of satisfactory deep breaths. But what is it that makes a person prefer this darker place? What causes his endorphins to rush, flush and flare at a song that touches a deeper part, a deeper and intrinsically baser part as well? Is the flail-dance person covering for an unimaginably darker pain? And oppositely, is the sad-like person the one who's truly unable to feel this level of hurt due to the fact that he wants to so badly? Is pushing your unsettled-ness under the table and refusing to give into its charms the ultimate way of experiencing it, at a later time, as its full and overwhelming effect washes over you? Or is it a sign that sadness is not fully understood by the flailing dancer, that it just doesn't exist for her in that kind of way? Perhaps, most troubling of all, is the thought that the dancing is merely a step in eradicating the pain before it's given the chance to arrive guns blazing? Maybe Lynrd Skynrd just isn't my kind of music (ok, this much is certain) but why would I want to spend my Saturday night waiting for that next sad song? The one that at this particularly rowdy, downtown dive comes often few and far between. Clearly, there are no answers to these questions. Each would have to be analyzed and evaluated on a case by case basis. Rambling is really all I'm doing here. Because, truth be told I love to dance. And I believe that it does tend to genuinely make people ecstatically happy. Physical movement will do that to the human body. And rarely does it appear to cover up any sort of deeper emotion, other than the fact that Monday is just around the corner and the night is likely to be over before it begins. It's interesting though, seeing a room of drunken, crowded strangers stop their gyrating and guffawing gaiety for three to four minutes, while the very brave cover band at the foot of the stage attempts to take them to a different place. Maybe not necessarily darker for everyone involved. But different. For you it might be the faint memory of a road trip or that one big fight with your high school girlfriend. For your buddy standing beside you it might be the perfect opportunity to flag the waitress down for another drink. For someone else it could almost touch that frayed exterior of a heavily bandaged nerve. And for me, it just might end up being what the night is all about.