in my dreams

the empire state building has been hit
i see this happen
hit
a missile
or maybe a plane
it is senseless
and gone in the blink of an eye
i'm at the center of the structure
but outside of it as well
watching from below
the empire state building
collapses much like the wtc did
funneling inward
like a cake
straight down
with only a mushroom cloud of smoke
escaping into the outer regions
but this feels larger
much larger than 9/11
i'm closer now
closer than the two miles
from where i saw the north tower fall
the destruction is indescribable
i literally cannot catch my breath
breathe
breathe
breathe
my mind shouts at itself
-UUGGH-
-UUGGH-
-UUGGH-
my throat hungrily answers back
as ugly, forced inhalations produce worthless puffs of air
tears are welling
and my eyesight begins to blur
no
no
no
no
no
not this
not our city
not this
not again
the destruction is simply too much to bear
our beautiful utopia feels as though it is no more
raped to the point of insanity
carved at until its face is not its own
i cannot breathe as i look up and into the sight of what must be evil
i cannot continue living in what our world has now become
it is over for me
it is over for us all
bombs
bombs
bombs
going off in all parts of the world
i look around and smoke is all i see
it is everywhere
i'm in it
outside of it
and above it all at once
i know it's real
i know it's not
and i know it could be
i'm dreaming
and will wake with a start
wet, nervous
but unaware until later
just what i'd been dreaming of
when this will send a flashbulb shock into the deep recesses of my mind
and then
i will remember
that in my nightmares
the world ended
again.