today...beginning

The first of many. I am sure.
Where to begin?
If I didn't have television or a penis I could get so much more accomplished I swear.
My life is beginning to feel a lot like "You never know what you CAN'T do until you DON'T do it.
This, luckily, is not OK by me.
I have a problem.
Luckily it should be rather easy to fix.
Seems to be that I'm at another one of those damned crossroads in life. Unable to proceed due to an overactive fear drive or an underactive energy drive, there is so much ahead of me. But I don't know who or what I want to be.
A wise lesbian once said in one of my even darker times of trouble that, "You don't want to have everything be perfect in your 20s. Then you have nothing to live for." But it isn't perfection so to speak that I'm after. It's more or less a sense of assurance that one life will be enough.
I'm consumed by the ridiculous quasi-fear that if I make one choice then countless other possibilities will go away. It's the old adage in reverse, "When one door opens how many other windows close?"

more later.
if you are ready

thank you for your time
people of the cozmos

-Chris